Last month, my husband and I passed our one year anniversary of marriage, which sent me into a shock (oh my how time flies) and then scramble of taking care of some post-wedding items I had been procrastinating on, out of the sheer need for a year’s worth of recovery peace-time after the insanely intense year of engagement and wedding planning. As I was busily making photobooks and selling off leftover decor items and clearing out my Google Drive, I came across a spreadsheet I had used to keep track of all of the spending I had done on outfits and accessories for the various bridal events that are part of the wedding process. Not wanting these records to go to waste and now having new thoughts after getting a little distance from that time in my life, I wanted to preserve my reflections on my own wedding wardrobe to help a future bride plan hers.
What are the events to plan for?
Before I was engaged, I honestly hadn’t thought too deeply about my wedding and what a wedding entails. I was the first of my closest friends to be getting married, and I am an eldest sibling, so my entire wedding experience really felt like a Lewis and Clark expedition without Sacagawea.
My husband and I were planning for a one-year engagement, and one of the first things we had to do was plan a timeline, and roughly calendar the major events we had to prepare for up until and immediately after our wedding date. It was in this process when I realized that my wardrobe budget needed to consider more than just the wedding day dress, and I would have to prepare for a number of other items as well.
Typical events that may be included in a wedding timeline:
1. Engagement photos 2. Bachelorette party trip 3. Vietnamese traditional engagement party/ tea ceremony 4. Rehearsal dinner 5. Morning of wedding getting ready 6. Catholic church wedding ceremony 7. Wedding reception 8. After party 9. Bridal party thank you brunch 10. Honeymoon immediately after wedding
Determining what you need and don’t need:
It is scary seeing an impending timeline of events to prepare for, but you (and your wallet) do not need to fear, since the important thing to remember is that you probably already have many items that are usable, and with some strategic shopping, the items that you do need to buy can be re-usable.
What you first need to figure out is the items that you need. I did this by considering each event on my event list, and analyzing my outfit haves, wants, and needs for each event.
1. Haves
These were things I already owned, and so, would be of zero cost to my budget.
Not all bridal events require formal-wear. Most people already have in their closet many items that can be worn for the more casual or even dressy-casual bridal events like engagement photo shoots, bachelorette parties, destination wedding events, wedding after-parties, bridal brunches, your honeymoon, etc.
Think: casual and dressy-casual clothing and accessories; a bomb pair of white sneakers or going out heels, vacation wear/ swimsuits; robes and cute PJ’s, outerwear, shape-wear/ undergarments, etc.
You can even consider items that you borrow or items that are gifted to you part of your “haves”.
2. Wants
These were things I did not necessarily have to buy, but if budget allowed, I would ideally want to purchase.
Think: matching clothing or accessories (with your bridal party or fiancé); clothing and accessories that more closely match your wedding theme or style; statement pieces; accessories that are purely “bridal” (like tulle wedding sleeves embroidered with “to have and to hold” or bedazzled white wedding crocs for hitting the dance floor)
I would even count “upgrades” such as spending on more luxury, designer, or expensive items as part of “wants.”
3. Needs
These were necessary pieces to the event that I would not be able to compromise on buying.
Think: your wedding dress and/or veil; wedding rings, other jewelry, and shoes; any religious, traditional, or cultural clothing and accessories you don’t already have
Opportunity pieces vs. one-time use pieces
After determining your haves, wants, and needs, you can categorize your items a second time by opportunity pieces and one-time use pieces.
One-time use pieces
These are the items in your “wants” and “needs” that can only be worn or used once.
For example, your wedding dress, veil, or any other purely bridal accessories.
Opportunity pieces
These are the items in your “wants” and “needs” that can be worn or used more than once.
Opportunity pieces can be:
1. Capsule items
These are items that you may not wear again after the wedding itself, but may be worn for multiple bridal events.
For example, a base-layer white dress (that is not your wedding dress) styled different ways for different events.
2. Investment items
These are items that you would be able to wear again and again even after the wedding.
For example, your wedding rings or other versatile jewelry, heels, bags, etc.
Planning your Budget
By analyzing and categorizing the different elements you plan to purchase, you can begin to shape the budget for your wedding wardrobe. Here are some tips from what I learned going through it:
1. Use your “haves” widely.
For budget-conscious brides, being creative in using what you already have can save you greatly in wardrobe costs. An added bonus is that it naturally meshes your unique everyday style into your wedding wardrobe, and is a way to individually express within the world of traditional bridal-wear.
For example, my “something borrowed” on my wedding day was an old necklace that my dad had given to my mom, which created a special nod to my parents in my outfit and I was able to save on jewelry costs. I also absolutely loved that I got to include my favorite white Adidas sneakers and comfiest black leather jacket in my afterparty look. These pieces I already had and wear often, made me feel especially me, even in a new dress.
2. It’s okay to sometimes indulge your wants, especially if they can become opportunities.
Prepare to see your “wants” list grow as you continue to become exposed to bridal fashion. The wedding market really preys on vulnerable brides with siren-like marketing. While it is important that you stay the course, and the budget, it is okay to sometimes make exceptions on “unnecessary” items.
I would try to purchase select “wants” if:
they can be integral capsule pieces or investment pieces
they would be an unforgettable statement piece that you would regret not buying (at least you would get a return on the forever photos amirite)
they are inexpensive (both time-wise and cost-wise)
3. Thematically capsule your wardrobe.
I mentioned capsule pieces before as items that are opportunities because they are re-wearable. It is also important to note why capsule pieces are re-wearable. This is because capsule pieces are both versatile to style, chameleons so to speak, and also “on brand” to the overall style of the capsule wardrobe.
If you have a running theme to your entire bridal wardrobe, there are several benefits:
It is easier to be selective and discriminating about pieces when shopping.
It is easier to mix and match outfits, since the color palettes, styles, and materials are already loosely matching.
It lends cohesiveness and identity to your entire wardrobe. And, if you coordinate your wardrobe style with the style of your venue, invitations, and other elements, your entire wedding will feel extra curated and stylish.
4. Invest in quality “opportunity” pieces, save costs in one-time use pieces.
This advice comes two-fold since they are in a causal relationship. The more you are able to save money in items you will never wear again, the more you can spend of your budget on items you will actually use again, and invest in their quality.
5. See re-selling as a potential opportunity, but not a reliable one.
For the savvy bride, it may seem lucrative to bet on re-selling items after your wedding as a way to recoup some losses. But, fair warning: proceed with extreme caution. Unfortunately, the laws of supply and demand are heavily skewed toward supply in the used wedding items market, especially so with wedding dresses. On FB marketplace, Poshmark, sites like Still White and Nearly Newlywed, I see more stagnant listings than I do successfully sold ones. In my own wedding resale items, I had to mark down prices excessively to get buyers to bite, so it was not significant loss mitigation.
That being said, I think it is worth a try, but it is also worth being realistic about re-sale. It would be more valuable to be intentional and budget-mindful in the items you buy first, and to re-sell only as an option down the line.
A complete breakdown of my wedding wardrobe
Introduction:
A way to begin envisioning your bridal wardrobe is to view it as a fashion show, in which your different event outfits are different looks on the runway, with your wedding day outfit being the finale showstopper. Like a fashion show, you want to have a defining aesthetic theme and style, in which your different wedding looks are different expressions.
My wedding aesthetic was inspired by the mix of traditional and modern elements in my wedding itself. We said traditional vows in a church wedding and then threw a modern hotel ballroom reception. We sent classic paper invitations and had contemporary decor. We opted for both digital and film photography.
Since I love subtle classics and my husband loves minimal, modern styles, a marriage of these two styles became the inspiration for our wedding wardrobe.
For my wardrobe, I aimed for pieces that:
Were minimal, modern colors like white, cream, black, etc.
Had classic bridal materials like silks, satins, and pearls
Had classic silhouettes, with modern details
Contributed to mixed metals overall (my color is gold, my husband’s silver)
Outfit list by event:
1. Engagement Photos
We had these taken at the Berkeley Rose Garden, which is where my husband proposed since we met while both in college at Cal.
I honestly loved the concept of this outfit, and would keep it similar today. Even though I bought a new dress and sandals, they were both versatile buys that I could re-wear for many other occasions. The updates I would make today are:
I would update the dress to something with a straighter neckline and a touch more detail like this J. Crew Pintuck Mixy Dress in black (on sale for $100).
I would switch out the earrings with these dainty GLDN small pearl studs ($42) that I now have.
2. Bachelorette Party
My bachelorette “party” was actually a long-weekend girls trip to Monterey Bay/ Carmel-by-the-Sea. Since we mostly did casual activities like horseback riding on the beach, having a spa day, and marathoning Channing Tatum movies at the Airbnb, I mostly just wore my regular clothes the whole trip. The only new outfit I purchased was for the nicer, non-casual dinner we had at my favorite Monterey restaurant Stokes Adobe, where we had agreed on beforehand that we’d dress up and take pictures.
Nope. I loved the pieces I chose for this. The dress ended up being an integral capsule piece for other outfits in the year. The heels, strand earrings, and bag, I still wear often today, especially when I want to be a little dressier. The earrings, I especially want to highlight, since the strands can be taken off if you want to only wear the top part. This makes it so versatile for styling other outfits.
3. Vietnamese Traditional Tea Ceremony
For context, my family is Vietnamese American and since I was having an entirely American style wedding, I wanted to have a traditional Vietnamese tea ceremony engagement party where we served tea to our elders and had a meal with our respective close families. For this event, I had a Vietnamese ao dai made which I wore for the event.
My wedding heels – I broke them in at this event. I will reveal and link them in the upcoming section.
Would I re-style?
Nope. Even though this is not an outfit I will most likely wear again, it brought so much joy to my family, and especially my grandfather, to see me choosing to celebrate a piece of my heritage as part of my wedding. I also had so much fun going to a specialty seamstress with my mom and having my dress made exactly to my size. Even though this was a gift from my mom, I still want to highlight the cost, $100, because it was a pleasantly surprising total price for labor, materials, and alterations.
Something that my husband were able to do post-wedding as well, was a Korean traditional dress (hanbok) wedding photoshoot when we traveled to Seoul to see his grandmother. Just like my grandpa, my grandmother-in-law was so overjoyed to see the photos.
4. Rehearsal Dinner
My rehearsal dinner was a pretty casual event (so much so I forgot to take photos!). After we did a ceremony rehearsal at the church, my family, in-laws, and bridal party had a family-style banquet dinner at a local Chinese restaurant.
The Fit
An oatmeal colored sweater shirt – borrowed from my sister
Yes. Honestly, I was so busy in the weeks leading up to this with last month wedding preparations that I had not had time to properly plan a rehearsal dinner outfit. This one was definitely created a little last minute. Today, I would restyle it with more a bridal tuxedo inspired look with these pieces:
Drapey slacks like this Uniqlo Smart Wide-Pant in natural ($49.90) – I love Uniqlo slacks and actually own a couple pairs for work that I could also use, but wouldn’t mind buying another one.
The reason I included this as its own event is because many wedding photographers actually come early and take photos of your “getting ready with bridesmaids” on the day of. Some brides will prepare for this by getting matching robes or PJ’s for their bridesmaids so that they can get some pictures. Personally, dressing up for getting ready wasn’t too important to me, and I did not want to spend extra budget on these outfits, so I just wore PJ clothes I already had. My hair and make-up artist requested that I wear a button up shirt so that I could change after without messing up the hair and makeup. I honored this, and then threw on some comfy shorts.
I don’t regret not going with matching robes, since I probably would not have worn it again. But, if I did this outfit again, I might have gone with a short sleeve button up top due to the Sacramento summer heat. These are some tops I would pick today:
Though I had two very different venues for the ceremony and reception, I actually decided to have just one dress that I could wear the whole day without having to worry about getting in and out of. (My wedding dress story is an insane sheer dumb luck story that includes buying a final sale dress on a whim without trying it on first and having it actually work out, but I will save the full story of that for another post.) Long story short, I loved my dress, and entire outfit, and since I only had one full day to wear it, I wanted to wear it for as long as I possibly could.
The Fit:
Jenny Yoo Bellamy Dress $381 (bought final sale online from BHLDN during an extra 40% off sale items event)
I wouldn’t change a thing. Even today, I am still in madly in love with my wedding day look. While I thought about re-selling my dress and veil after the wedding, I couldn’t do it.
There are two parts of the fit I especially love:
The jewelry – I loved that I was able to find matching earrings for my mom’s necklace and that the earrings also matched my husband’s cufflinks. My jewelry felt especially personal to me because of these details.
The bag – Unlike a tiny clutch, this bag functionally held so many things (my phone, extra make-up, emergency kit, etc.) and I loved that I could sling it over my shoulder. I still wear this regularly today for both formal occasions and casual occasions.
The dress alterations – My seamstress did an incredible job creating a bustle for the dress so that I could take in the train during the reception. Spending on quality alterations made my dress so much more versatile, comfortable, and wearable for the entire multi-event day.
A caution:
I was able to get away with and mostly preserve a thin heeled shoe because both of my wedding events were fully indoors and lightly carpeted. If doing an outdoor wedding, I would have spent less on shoes and went for a lower block heel/ kitten heel.
7. After Party
This was a casual event at the hotel bar immediately after the wedding reception. (Sorry, again I forgot to take photos!) After a whole day in heels, my sneakers felt like angelic clouds on my feet.
Aritzia black leather jacket – already had (I don’t think they sell these anymore since I bought it a couple years ago, but any slightly oversized leather jacket would do.)
Nah. This kind of casual event is not something I would want to buy new things for. I was so exhausted anyway after the wedding, it was simpler to just throw on some comfy pieces from my regular closet.
Final Reflections
First off, I’d like to acknowledge that I skipped the morning-after brunch and honeymoon on my list. For the morning-after brunch, since I was half-dead after the wedding day, I just threw on casual white jeans, a black tank, and some shades, nothing memorable. We were just dining with our bridal party/closest friends after all, and everyone was tired from the night before. On my honeymoon, I also mainly wore clothes I already had for traveling and incorporated some pieces from my bridal wardrobe. Since I actually created a very different capsule wardrobe for my honeymoon, it feels a little too separate from the wedding for this post, and I may save this for another post.
Now to get to the grand reveal. My final budget cost for my entire wedding wardrobe was roughly: $2200. This was excluding bridal dress alterations, and hair and make-up costs for the wedding day. With this included, it would be closer to $3000. This was a number that I could live with, and there were many pieces I bought that I still wear and love today. That being said, it was not a perfect experience, and this number does not include some of the mistakes and regret buys I made that I did not end up wearing and had to return or resell. While this still makes me feel guilty today, I try to remind myself that it was my first time, and no one does their best on their first time doing something.
I know that for every bride, one’s budget will be different depending on the situation. I also know it can be the most stressful and time consuming process. to find and obtain the perfect fits for such important events in your life, and it is not always easy to find cost-transparent information out there in most wedding-related things.
Remember that there is no right or wrong way to spend money. Just be realistic with yourself, your financial situation, and your priorities, no one else’s. Remember also that the stuff of bridal magazines and social media are not realistic for the normal person. No wedding is perfect, and everything will not be picture perfect to the last detail. But, your wedding can still be special, meaningful, and incredibly true to who you and your partner are, which is the most important thing.
To the future bride, from the past bride:
This is your year! Forgive yourself a lot, and enjoy the ride!
zillenial nest 
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